2 de fevereiro de 2022 às 23:03 #647439
Making a to-do list that really works
п»ї<title>A different view on the art of helping</title>
One of the highest gifts of the human being is his capacity to go out of himself and turn to others. The art of helping, altruism. This behavior, which is moving because of the moral effort it implies, has become a scarce commodity in these times where materialism and selfishness have an important role.
However, who has not experienced at some time that comforting energy that is felt when our support lightens the burdens of another person? Recently, science has discovered the neurological basis for this pleasant experience. When we help someone selflessly, it activates a part of the brain that is linked to the feeling of pleasure. But is this offering always selfless?
All that glitters is not goldAltruism is a desirable behavior from every point of view. Biologically speaking, cooperation between individuals ensures the preservation of the species. From a psychological perspective, providing and receiving support relieves stress, strengthens self-esteem and emotional bonds, and encourages self-improvement. Even our spirituality is enriched by altruism, as it builds us up and connects us with the transcendent.
In light of these findings, it would seem that helping others is a highly desirable and beneficial behavior. But given the complexity that characterizes us as human beings, the answer is not so simple.
The motivations that guide this helping behavior can be very diverse, and they are precisely the ones that make the difference. On the one hand, there is genuine compassion. That which arises when we see that someone is overwhelmed by burdens and which leads us to offer our disinterested help, desiring only the good of the other. In this case there is no hidden interest behind our actions, but this is not always the case.
Sometimes, surprisingly, people offer their help to feed their ego, eager to receive admiration and social recognition. At other times it is the benefit we get in return for helping that drives us to do so, whether it is a promotion in our career or the feeling of superiority to which we are addicted. It may even happen that we help others because we do not trust their ability to solve problems on their own.
Assisting others can become a way of controlling our fellow human beings, either consciously or unconsciously. By doing so, we make them dependent on the support they receive and, therefore, on us. Likewise, false altruism can be coldly calculated to deceive and manipulate others, in the form of a trap or ambush.
Don’t help so much that you get in the way
Oddly enough, sometimes help that is offered with good intentions has just the opposite effect. Instead of making life easier for the other person, it actually interferes with his or her natural course. Thus, at times, our help can impede the development of the other person’s initiative and autonomy.
This is the case of overprotective parents who, with the intention of avoiding problems and suffering for their children, do for them what they could do for themselves. However, there will inevitably come a time when they will have to face life’s challenges alone. And they will do so unprepared because, ironically, they received too much help.
The art of helpingAs we can see, helping is a true art. To do so, we must know how to choose the moment and the forms. We must be able to foresee the consequences that our interference will have for the other person. We must even ask ourselves what is our real motivation for helping.
What do I really hope to get out of it, am I seeking admiration, control, to feel important, am I benefiting the other person with my behavior or am I depriving him or her of developing his or her own abilities, am I really motivated by a genuine feeling of making life easier for my fellow human being, am I really motivated by a genuine feeling of making life easier for my fellow human being?
Altruism is a wonderful value that, in its pure state, can make the world a better place. However, an inappropriate motivation or a poorly chosen moment can make it a mistake. Let us not allow our own shortcomings and needs to obscure the original beauty of such a noble gesture. Let us learn to manage the beautiful art of helping others.
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