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Being honest saves time: honesty as a way of life
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[url=https://www.rxshopmd.com/products/antinarcoleptic/buy-modafinil-modalert/]modafinil side effects[/url]п»їBeing honest saves us time and sanitizes relationships. The good use of honesty and integrity with oneself where we make clear what we allow and what we do not, what is right and what is not, facilitates that coexistence without uncomfortable and not at all beneficial situations. However, far from what we may think, it is not so easy to make use of sincerity.
Confucius said that the person who is sincere and always tells the truth has already built the road to heaven. However, let’s admit it, most of us have been educated to be correct in every circumstance, to maintain that careful respect towards others where, often, we make small lies our survival rafts for fear of being rejected or pointed out.
We say yes to that party with company colleagues… not to be less. We maintain friendships that have already expired emotionally years ago for fear of hurting the other person. We support our partner in certain decisions even knowing that they are not the right ones, and we do it for not extinguishing the illusions of someone we love.
There are many situations that occur daily where we apply the half lie or that half honesty that, even having good intentions, can bring in the long run situations that are not at all beneficial. Being sincere (but without applying sincericide) should be that recurring gear in our own being where to build a healthier reality for all.
“Sincerity may be humble but it cannot be servile.”
-Lord Byron
Applying sincerity with ourselvesNothing can have as much harmony as practicing that transparent communication where to drop armors, falsehoods, fears and condescension. There are those who boast of always being correct and respectful, when in reality they are experts in the art of hypocrisy, that is to say, in feigning feelings, behaviors or ideas contrary to the real ones.
There are plenty of people who go around the world with no sense of humor. Those who think one thing and say another, those who feel a concrete reality and end up behaving in the opposite way. Living out of tune in terms of thoughts, desires, actions and communication generates great discomfort and can eventually lead to situations of great unhappiness.
Studies, such as the one conducted at the University of Southern Denmark by Dr. Stephen Rosenbaum, make it clear: honesty should be the norm in our society. Making use of sincerity saves us costs of all kinds: emotional, relational, work-related, etc. It is a principle of well-being for ourselves and others.
However, how to apply it and how to start making good use of it? Here are some keys.
Start being honest with yourselfThere are internal voices that reinforce our fears (tell this to your boss, your friend, your father or they will get angry with you). There are defenses that erect real barricades that prevent us from saying and doing what we really want. All these internal psychological universes not only prevent us from being authentic, but also hinder our growth.
Let’s be clear, whoever wants to be sincere with others must first be sincere with oneself. And that requires practicing a sincere and courageous internal dialogue, where we ask ourselves what we want and what we need.
Lies or lack of honesty make us captives of unhappiness.
Being honest saves us valuable time. It avoids, for example, devoting time and effort to people, practices or dimensions that are not in tune with our desires or values. If we were able to practice real honesty, we would gain in trust with each other, because there is nothing as beneficial as having that advice or comment from someone who, far from seeking to be condescending or “look good”, dares to speak from the heart.
In addition, we have to take into account one aspect. The lack of sincerity leads us to make use of those lies that soon, need other bigger lies so that the house of cards is maintained. The psychological effort to avoid the collapse of so many falsehoods is immense, and soon we realize that this practice is neither useful, nor logical, nor even less healthy.
Honesty is an act of courage with great benefits. Practice it and your world will change! Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, two psychologists and experts in early childhood education, point out in their book Educate Today, that children lie to their parents more often than they think because of a very basic fact: they choose to resort to lying to make their parents happy, and thus fulfill the expectations they have of them. They think that if they talk to them about what they really feel, they might disappoint them.
In a way, this is how this almost recurrent need to not always be completely honest begins. We are afraid of disappointing, we are afraid of not being as others think, we are afraid of creating distances or losing relationships. However, we must be clear, by acting in this way we are really betraying ourselves.
Being honest can cause some shock or surprise. However, it is worth it in the long run because we create more hygienic, happy and meaningful scenarios by sharing life with those who really matter. Let’s put it into practice.
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