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п»ї<title>Finding Inspiration in Failure</title>
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Getting it wrong for many is a cardinal sin. Failure is deserving of a penalty that goes from harsh to very harsh, depending on how strict the evaluator is or how disastrous the consequences have been. Without this punishment, it is understood that there is no motivation for learning and that laziness is given a chance to undermine a possible will to repair.
Mistakes are not the bad guys in the movie, as they would have us believe. It is what we do with mistakes that determines their meaning, it is where we place them in the home of our conscience that will determine the role they will play in the future. One way or another, in our hands lies the power to point them to a place to add or subtract.
When something doesn’t go the way we want it to, we have two options: to give up and not try again, or to use the mistake as a bridge to move forward and overcome the obstacle. The difference may seem simple enough in theory, but sometimes in practice it is not so easy to put into practice.
For years and years, error and failure have been demonized and put on the side of the “bad guys” when in reality they may even be considered your friends. It all depends on the attitude you take in the face of a mistake: will you continue to make the same mistake over and over again or will you learn from that failure so as not to repeat it?
The first step is the most difficult. No, it is not about making a mistake, that is the easiest thing in the world. We are flesh and blood people and we can’t do everything perfectly. What is complicated and what we have to work on is recognizing our mistakes.
The wrong view of failure is ancientMegan McArdle points out in her book “The upside of down” that since ancient times we have a misperception and a very low tolerance for mistakes. When communities were dedicated to hunting and gathering food, failures were quickly forgotten because they had to refocus on finding sustenance for the family.
However, with the discovery and subsequent development of agriculture, each person had a specific task that together made the crops good and plentiful each season. For that reason, the one who worked less or in a deficient manner harmed the rest and had to be punished.
In the labor system of later centuries a similar system was employed. The school was and is no exception. Perfection is always pursued, the best grade on exams, the job never done better… when in fact experimentation and an attitude towards failure should be encouraged.
Examples of failure before successThroughout history, thousands of people have been successful in their projects. But if we analyze their careers, we will realize that they have failed before, and not once, but several times. From Stephen King to Steve Jobs, from Axl Rose to Orson Welles… all of them have mistakes and errors in their biography.
Even Thomas Edison, who invented thousands of objects, at school had the labels of unproductive and sterile! In the creator of the lamp we can base ourselves to understand why the mistakes and failures of the past should not change or diminish our desire to move forward and progress.
Accept the fall and the failureIt is very easy to say it, not so easy to do it. We all have certain patterns of behavior, a certain tendency to action that is very difficult to change. Why is that? Two very simple reasons: because we have repeated them over and over again until they have become automatic and because we have found a certain comfort in them. They are part of our comfort zone.
For example, if you meet a driving instructor and you ask him if he prefers to teach students who have already driven or students who have not, he will probably answer that he prefers inexperienced students. Why? Because students who have never driven have not had the opportunity to learn some of the bad habits that we all end up picking up when we accumulate a certain amount of experience.
So, new students have to learn, those who already know, have to re-learn. What happens to driving instructors also happens to teachers, professors and coaches in their various disciplines. Of course, it is something that also happens to us. Try, for example, to cook a dish in a different way than you normally do, or to open a door by turning the key with the opposite hand to your usual one.
But of course, it is not a matter of changing for the sake of changing, but of changing the bad and keeping the good. Thus, to learn from mistakes we must know how to discriminate where they are. Often, we do not see the error directly, only the product of our own failure, and we have to identify where we have made a mistake in the process.
Learning from mistakesFinally, learning from mistakes requires a certain power of dissociation. That is, to assume that I have made the mistake but that failure is not part of me and does not shape me. I have been the one who has lied, who has been late or who has messed everything up, but that does not make me a liar, an unpunctual or a messy person.
It is this last step that allows us to use it for what it is without damaging our self-esteem. It is this separation that allows us to look at the failure head on, analyze it and determine what its opposite would have been on the coin: heads or tails.
Let us assume that success without failure is as unlikely as winning the lottery. It is usually the result of a process in which there are advances and setbacks, but in which there is also a constant dynamic and motivation. The error must be, against what perhaps intuition tells us, the grease that makes everything flow intelligently, because “no calm sea has made the sailor an expert”.
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If I were to erase the mistakes of my past, I would erase the wisdom of my present.
A single mistake from the past can hold within it a great learning experience for our present. Let’s squeeze out our mistakes and continue to grow…
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