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1 de fevereiro de 2022 às 22:07 #646692
Do you know the broken windows theory?
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[IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/mujer-al-lado-de-una-media-luna.jpg[/IMG].
The key to being able to love others is to love ourselves first, although we often forget this. If we do not love ourselves, we will not be able to establish healthy relationships because it is completely impossible to offer others what we ourselves lack.
But what does it mean to love ourselves? Loving ourselves means being attentive to our vital needs, accepting ourselves as we are, respecting ourselves, being honest and bringing out the best version of ourselves. Isn’t that easy?
Although it seems simple, we do not always achieve this goal, so today we will highlight 5 key points so you can learn to love yourself. Yes, it is a learning process that will take time, but the results will be very satisfying for you and for your relationship with others.
“To love oneself is the beginning of an eternal love story.”
-Oscar Wilde
1. Dare to be yourselfMany people seem to have two types of faces: the one they show when they are at home (in the family) and the other one they present to people outside (friends, neighbors, strangers). It seems that they do not dare to be themselves and that they try to be what others want them to be. One wonders if in these circumstances they adapt to the environment or if they are not really authentic with themselves. Because it is one thing to know how to adapt to the environment and the other to not be able to be oneself because of ‘what others will say’.
Loving ourselves means, necessarily, leaving appearances aside and all those external influences that may be directing our way of being. No matter what field you move in, showing yourself as you are will make you feel much better. In this way, you will discover if those who accepted you as you were will continue to do so or only did so because of the image you wanted to convey.
Striving to please others is too much of a sacrifice and can lead you down the path of stress and anxiety. Be positive about the way you are and never undervalue yourself. Think that you don’t have to be more than yourself and that’s easy! Although the road may be a little rough, you will be grateful for it. Those around you will be people who will accept you for who you are and not for who you want to appear to be.
2. Live unique experiencesIf we watch life go by day after day submerged in the same routine, it is impossible for us to feel some kind of emotion or adrenaline that invites us to experience unique experiences. Little by little we will be transformed into apathetic and gray people who will have no aspirations to do anything else that is far from the daily habits.
Loving ourselves also implies that it is our responsibility to take charge of life to avoid watching it pass before our eyes as if it meant nothing. Are you really going to waste the precious time you have? We are so used to watching life go by that we don’t mind sitting on the couch and watching. However, if we were told we had a week to live, what would we do? Wouldn’t something change in us? Time passes, so… let’s make the most of it while we can!
Let’s say, for example, that you are afraid to leave that job that doesn’t motivate you and doesn’t bring you anything, because money is always tight and you feel too secure. Take a risk, do something crazy! You will achieve everything you set out to do if you really start making decisions that will allow you to get out of a situation you don’t like. Fear is an adaptive emotion, however, when it paralyzes us so much that it prevents us from living a normal day-to-day life, it means that it has taken hold of us. Sometimes, it’s good to step out of our comfort zone and look for new paths. Life is full of surprises!
3. Develop your potentialMany people are good at certain activities that may be related to sports or music, among others. But, if they do not practice and do not take some of their time to devote to these hobbies, they will probably not get to enjoy them or develop all the potential they have.
We all have something we are good at, and even if we don’t, there will always be a different activity that we like to do. Therefore, trying it out and getting us out of the dynamics of work and obligations in which we are immersed is a good idea to start tracing new routes. Who knows if as a result of that our life may take another course that surprises us more than we thought it would.
“Loving oneself at least has one advantage: there are not many rivals.”
-Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Let’s imagine that you feel like participating in some painting class because it relaxes you and you would like to perfect your techniques. For some reason you don’t dare and end up postponing it. Don’t do it! There is a phrase that says “don’t leave for tomorrow what you can do today”. Maybe, in the future, you will regret not having done it, so just get on with it.
4. Complain lessTo love ourselves, letting go of victimhood will be essential. Sometimes, we are immersed in a spiral of complaints that do not let us move forward because instead of acting, we simply lament. As Buddhist Psychology states, when we complain, we only feed negative emotions. That is, we add fuel to the fire. In this way, we only feed thoughts that produce negative states that lead to suffering. Therefore, it will be essential to start focusing more on the positive aspects of everyday life and leave behind complaints and regrets.
Complaints will not do you any good, in fact, they will prevent you from enjoying yourself. We will be much happier if we try to see the positive side of everything that happens to us, because unlike complaining, this does help us! We can learn, we can get ideas and we will move forward to where we want to be.
Think of a time when you have been a victim of a situation and you have complained. Did you solve something? Was everything better afterwards? Probably not. Enjoy it and instead of complaining, adopt an attitude of acceptance and optimism. Acceptance, in this case, is a psychological process that invites us to accept the present situation and from there begin to take action. In other words, it is not a passive process, but an active one. Loving ourselves means working on ourselves and lamentation is not the best of ways.
“If it has a remedy, what reason is there to be despondent? And if it has none, of what benefit is there to be disconsolate?”
-Shandideva-
5. Open your mindset and free yourselfMany times we find ourselves living inside a bubble that is impossible for us to get out of. This bubble protects us, but at the same time limits us to live new adventures. Sometimes this prevents us from connecting with new people and discovering hobbies that we could be passionate about.
People with closed mindsets are like a dead end. Even if they move forward or backward there is a moment when they can go no further. What they are not aware of is that these dead ends are just creations of their own mind. We bind ourselves, preventing us from breaking free and experiencing new things.
Sometimes, living in a bubble has a lot to do with the fears we suffer from. The very terror of facing them causes us to close in on ourselves. In order to love ourselves, learning to look them in the face and overcome them will be indispensable.
My happiness only depends on one person and that person is me.
Do you love yourself? Have you ever loved someone without loving yourself first? It is risky to dare to start a relationship if, previously, we have not learned to respect ourselves, to value ourselves and to be honest with ourselves and with others. To establish healthy relationships with others, you first have to focus on you and create a healthy relationship with you. Only then can you begin to love other people in a sincere and real way.
You might be interested in…I love myself
We forget to look in the mirror and remind ourselves that we are there, unconditionally for ourselves. I love me is a call to our love for each other….
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